Summer of Discontent

the black waves just keep on crashing. my little nephew died. the blackness of death never really lifts, especially when its one so unfair. babies die all the time, as do children, as do adults. and there's fuck all we can do about it.

the horrible painful thing about family, is sometimes all you can be is an onlooker. a towel for the tears to fall on, and thats what i've been doing for the past month, and now i'm just too tired. where do my tears go? why don't i have any tears?
where's my towel?
i've been taking numerous collapsing family members to the hospital, and now all the fainting seems a little bit silly, but i'd like to black out just for once, and sleep knowing i'll wake up blissful. its not happening soon is it?


i was supposed to visit syria as well, but my visa got rejected for some reason. basically nothing went right, one blow followed another, and now i'm walking around not knowing my head from my toes. iraq should be more united, but theres nothing new to tell you, its as divided as ever, and the long time its taking for people to realise unity and equality, is annoying me slightly.


i feel in need of a smile, yet everywhere i turn, its plastered on, strained at best. i'm beginning university soon, but it wont be in iraq or the uk. i chose jordan. i'm not sure why, but its close to my family and still has a western feel to it. i'll be doing law and i think it starts in october. i should really check..